Koda.
The loudest chewer on the internet, a rescued Bengal, three years young, available for fish deliveries.
A short biography.
Koda was born in Germany. One afternoon, as a young cat, he slipped out of his first home and disappeared into the city. He came back days later — unrecognisably hurt, dragging a front leg the vet warned might have to come off.
His original owners listened to the diagnosis — months of treatment, an uncertain outcome — and decided they had paid too much for a cat to keep one that wasn’t perfect. They surrendered him at the clinic and never came back.
The clinic looked after him for months. We met him during the recovery, again at the end of it, and then brought him to his new home in the Netherlands. He kept the leg — minus one toe, the only souvenir — answers to English and his mother-tongue German, and is slowly picking up Hungarian.
| Name | Koda |
|---|---|
| Species | Bengal cat |
| Age | 3 years |
| Origin | Born Germany · lives Netherlands |
| Languages | English, German · learning Hungarian |
| Status | Rescue · fully recovered |
| Diet | Fish, exclusively · pure & unprocessed |
| Toes | 19 (one souvenir from the city) |
| Volume | 11 / 10 |
| Catchphrase | “MEOW” (loud, repeating) |
The Chew.
“You hear him before you see him. You hear him before he sees you. You hear him, frankly, from another room.”
Three crunches per second. A small jaw doing big work. The sound is somewhere between a wood chipper and a wind chime — rhythmic enough to fall asleep to, loud enough to wake you up.
We started recording it in February. People kept asking for more, so we keep pressing record.
Where the noise lives.
Fish, and only.
Koda is a single-protein animal. He has politely declined chicken, beef, duck, lamb, and on one strange evening, a pea. If it does not come from water, it is not for him.
He is also a purist. No cheap knock-offs, no flavoured pastes, no artificial anything — only real, pure fish meat. When the meal meets his standard, he licks every one of his nineteen toes clean. The twentieth, a souvenir from the city, is exempt.
↑ Yes please
- Tuna
- Salmon
- Mackerel
- Sardines
- Anchovies
- Anything that swims
↓ Hard no
- Chicken
- Beef
- Duck
- Lamb
- Vegetables
- Whatever you’re eating
Send something fishy.
If you make, sell, ship, or simply love a particular flavour of fish — Koda would be honoured to taste-test it. Reviews posted, eventually, in the form of an audible chew.
Drop us a note first. We’ll reply — by email, or by DM on the socials — with the postage address.
Brand collaborations, podcast bookings, and unsolicited
fish-sample inquiries all routed through the same inbox.